it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
