I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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