booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
do nipples grow back?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
