you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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