super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
