I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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