I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
