That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize