Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize