I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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