idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
