Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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