4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
