no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
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It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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