is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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