if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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