What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
