We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
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His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
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I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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