yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You were trust falling into bushes
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize