Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize