listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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