cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
