She's JV to your varsity
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
