Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
