I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
