She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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