Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
