So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
