Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Randomize
