Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
