Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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