I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
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Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
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We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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