Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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