glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
