i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
this boner is exhausting
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
