Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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