are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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