please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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