I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
