The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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