Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
