he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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