We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
