Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
