I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
God I need to hump something, right now.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
