Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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