OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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