I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
