ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
