D3 body, D1 cock
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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