Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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