I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
This baby is an asshole
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
