You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
