1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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