So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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