I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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