I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
