Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
